DE-moralizing....
Repeating a subject is stressful all on its own. Do you know how bad it feels sitting in a room of students who attended uni a year later than you?? It's extremely depressing. Going into the lecture hall and listening to the lecturer spout stuff you already know..."Do you know what a company is??" "This is something you learnt in your FIRST year...." =SFrustration...suffocation...exhumation...depression...
I couldn't take the shame sitting in there with the rest of them that at 9.45 i just left the lecture hall. It was an introductory lecture therefore it didn't really matter i guess...plus i DID already attend the lecture once...
How i wish i can just bury my head into the sand just like an ostrich and drown out the world...i dun really know why it's really bothering me that much...but it does... It's the social norms that u put on urself... Graduate early and get into the rat race. That's why i day dream about my future business. The dream restaurant i'm gonna own one day...and their chains... *weak laughter..*
I gotta pull myself together. If not i really am gonna fall apart...
The only good thing coming out of my failure is that my creative juices are starting to flow out in a more expressive form. And i'm starting to know bits of myself that i fuess i have been repressing all this while with logic and sensibility and what i deem as right. Acknowledging society's view on that which is right has made me blame myself for a number of things. While i maybe wrong for doing what it is i have been doing, this blame game thing really has affected my psyche to some extent...which is not a very good thing. Sometimes we just have to fight back and shout "I AM NOT WRONG!!!"
Sigh...the things i go through because of my grandma *snickers*
posted by Just lil' ol' me @ 4:49 PM
2 Comments:
no time for blame, man. it's just uni, to be honest. It's very important that you get through as best you can regardless of whether u failed it before.
guess what? I am doing 2 subjects now that I have failed before, 2 years ago! So that means, I'm sitting in a classroom learning the same shit; only ppl around me are like 2 years my junior. Hehe.
I don't feel ashamed or embarassed. There is no need to, man. Just chill, it's just uni.
Who knows what future holds for you next time? I believe CEO's or successful people have failed sometime in their life.
Learn from it. That's their strategy!
Hey CW, nice bumping into you the other day :) To fail and keep on trying is better than to give up, right? Think of how some of your juniors are gonna fail and just drop out of uni completely!
I went through the same thing in highschool - I got put back a year because I was in Vietnam for three months in the middle of the year and when I got back, the courses weren't compatible!
But I dropped out of highschool, believe it or not! Which is why I didn't start uni until I was 20.
Just keep going man!
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