Feeling lousy....
Urrghh....feeling really lousy. Dunno why. Wonder if its just chemical imbalances in my body. Maybe its because i woke up too late this morning. Or maybe its just because i'm reminded of all the work waiting for me this week. Am i born lazy??....I guess everyone is. Being able to get over that hurdle separates the men from the boys.
It's just so shitty. Wanna snap at everyone. Wanna screw with everyone. Wanna show the world how displeased i am with it. AAARRRGHHHHHHH~~~!!!!!!! There, screaming on the blog. Muahahha...urrghhhh -_____-"'.
At least writing this bit of rant on me blog is getting abit of it off my mind. Might have been the result of cold KFC too, coming to think about it. Or maybe its the lack of TLC (to the EC guys, not tua l** ci*o). Need some softness in my life...and not just my own!!...err...that sounded so wrong.
No guys. I DO NOT do weird stuff to myself. And Vek and Wani, please dun beg to differ.
Studying in the library isn't helping the crappiness go away. Gotta finish this bit of work before i leave for my snowboarding wonderland. Work work work.....and more work. Wonder how i'm gonna complain about my working life once i grad. Hmmm...am i gonna do CA/CPA (prob not)/ACCA after i get out? Or should i jump straight into business? Or maybe go work as an accountant for some restauranteer. Insurance......nah~~
Back to books, back to books....still feeling lousy though. Not as much as just now....this blog therapy thing works...hahahah....just some where to pen (type) down your feelings....thoughts....rants.... If no one will listen to me..i know you will...
Thanks guys!!~~~
So nice.... Friends have been so supportive especially housemates (Vivek and Wani...and Ren too!! wakakaka). Since knowing about my screwed up results they have not stopped trying to encourage/remind me to study. Although it involves alot of teasing about my self-contract, i really appreciate the care and concern you guys have showered on me. So hugz to you guys!! Its like having my family here....the constant nagging.... =P
And thanks to Lil' Cheryl for intro-ing me the flash mp3 player on her blog!! Now i can put songs i like (like m-flo!!) and share it with everyone!! Yay......uuurghhhhh -____-" Sorry Ad, i know you don't like them so u can pause they mp3 player...muhahahha.
Which reminds me, i haven't opened my book today yet...hmmm...should get down to doing some work yeah? Ciaoz for now!
Singapore schools so....interesting...
Woah woah....everytime i here my singapore friends talk about their primary/high/JC stories, i feel like they got damn interesting people there. I dunno if it is because they are talking among themselves and thus they relate better and me as an outsider get suckered into it or its because they really do have alot more interesting individuals... Hmmm...i think that my school had alot of interesting stories as well wat...
But yeah... Hearing about the Yishun Terror...so funny manz.... Espeacially the way they related it...OMFG FUNNY MANz!!! Where got someone so STOOPID wan?? U get into an offense once and got caught...and then upon release from ur probation..u go do the same STOOPID thing again...and get caught AGAIN!! WAKAKAKAKKA......
Well, yeah...so interesting to talk to them. Hear stories...wahahahaha...wish i had stories like that. If only i can remember much of my highschool.... All we have are inside jokes.
2nd week of school/uni...
Here i am. In the second week. Surviving so far....duh~~ -_____-" Well i guess more importantly is the fact that i have been religiously going to the sch uni everyday (except sunday, which i missed because i had to go down to see an old friend of mine to catch up....oops!!) So am i going to starve today?? Haha...i just reread my self-contract and it seems the starve condition applies to only me going to all my classes. So yay!! NO PUASA!! Lolz...no offense to muslims...peace~~
But starting this week i guess i will put the condition to the library rule as well. I don't want another incident like sunday happening again. However, i'm not sure if the lib opens on sundays...haven't checked that out yet. If so, should i go to the library in Caulfield? I guess i should.
Okok...enough slacking for now...i just got back from City. Going to uni now....NOW!!!!
What's in a name...
Was reading up on
Renald's blog and saw his Kabalarian Philosophy post. Something about name and it's meanings and its reflection of ur personality and stuff. Thought i'd give it a go since i was bored and everything.
I tried Chiang Wey first, fully expecting it to not have a result because its a chinese name and Kabalarian sounds african to me...don't ask me why that is. So i though i'd try Lucas!!...the english name that i decided to give myself after much persuasian from housemates. And surprise surprise, the result that came out was so omfg accurate!! At least 5 of the points mentioned were extremely close to my personality. Although it can be said that some of these things are that which applies to ANY individual, it still needs a fair amount of coincidence to match up my self-proclaimed Lucas (which previously had no affinity with whatsoever...thought it sounded more sophisticated and interesting than the common Johns, Dans and Charles) with my personality. This is what it said :
Although the name Lucas creates the urge to be both logical and technical, we emphasize that it causes procrastination, lack of confidence, and the inability to realize your goals and ambitions.
This name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success, as well as cause health weaknesses in the elimination and fluid systems.
Your first name of Lucas has given you a pleasant, easy-going, friendly nature.
Personal contacts are important to you.
In situations where you are serving others, demonstrating or instructing, you have the patience to go into details that someone else may not think to be important.
In your association with others, you are often limited to the more mundane happenings and little personal problems that can be so frustrating to those of an active, dynamic nature.
You desire to create system and order in your environment but are inclined to become side-tracked and socialize when you should be working.
Your ambitions are not large, as you lack confidence in your own abilities and would sooner not take a chance.True?? I think so anyway...you guys might think different though. Guess i'll stick with it...
A must read...
I think this has been circulting the web for some time and i recently bumped into it again on a freind's blog. So thanks Irwin for the post!! I think its extremely meaningful as it describes the realities of life rather than the fluffy cotton wool stuffed and pretty and colourful pictures which our parents have painted for us by sheltering us from the true harshness of the world. Hope you guys find it useful.
Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did NOT teach, and kids will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world. Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it! Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself. Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both. Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss. Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity. Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them. Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try cleaning the closet in your own room. Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life. Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time. Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
Pros and Cons...
Hmm...can things in life be judged by pros and cons? Should the way we live our life be cheapened by categorizing and analysing every aspect of it and listing all its good points and bad points?
I for one do not believe that life pros and cons can be applied to life itself. For example, marriage! As was proposed by a friend of mine. Should we label out the pros and cons of marriage and then base our decisions on how many pros or cons it has. Should life be so objective? Sure it would be much easier to make decisions and avoid risks...but then again the best way of avoiding risks are to not live at all! As we financial planners say, the best way to avoid risk is to not invest at all.
Life is not like buying a camera. Unlike a camera, we can't judge if something is good or not or should be embraced by another based whether it has a "higher mega-pixel count" or "anti-shake function" or "stylish casing". Everyone has different personalities and priorities and therefore assess the various aspects of life with different degrees of importance as well.
For example, going to uni. Most of us agree that going to uni is important because it would help us create a foundation to later build our careers on. But besides that, what other pros do the uni offer? We have endure the suffering of mugging, failing, going to lectures and listen to boring old lecturers mumble on, doing homework, stress from home for not studying...the list goes on. All to graduate with a degree that is hardly recognised in the current working environment. Now the minimun requirement to be noticed by fairly important companies is to have at least two degrees or a master in something...
Some of us beg to differ. Some prefer to join the workforce right after highschool thinking that it would give them a head start. 3 years of working experience counts alot more than 3 years of mugging. At least that's what they think. Some prefer the in between and they go to polytechnics. While these people seem to lack the certain "higher qualification", they might beg to differ as to whether they will be doing worse than us who are currently now in the rat race of uni.
So all in all, life should not be assessed objectively as it truly undermines the quality of life one would be leading. Living is the process of experiencing everything - from failure to success, love to hate, pain to joy. Should anyone miss out on any of those...they have missed out on life itself.
Erm...dunno why i wrote this again, just had a need to. Its 3.14 am and i should be sleeping. Class starts at 4.00 in the evening tomorrow but i gotta get up early to go and do shopping for pot luck tomorrow night. So yeah...nites!!
DE-moralizing....
Repeating a subject is stressful all on its own. Do you know how bad it feels sitting in a room of students who attended uni a year later than you?? It's extremely depressing. Going into the lecture hall and listening to the lecturer spout stuff you already know..."Do you know what a company is??" "This is something you learnt in your FIRST year...." =S
Frustration...suffocation...exhumation...depression...
I couldn't take the shame sitting in there with the rest of them that at 9.45 i just left the lecture hall. It was an introductory lecture therefore it didn't really matter i guess...plus i DID already attend the lecture once...
How i wish i can just bury my head into the sand just like an ostrich and drown out the world...i dun really know why it's really bothering me that much...but it does... It's the social norms that u put on urself... Graduate early and get into the rat race. That's why i day dream about my
future business. The dream restaurant i'm gonna own one day...and their chains... *weak laughter..*
I gotta pull myself together. If not i really am gonna fall apart...
The only good thing coming out of my failure is that my creative juices are starting to flow out in a more expressive form. And i'm starting to know bits of myself that i fuess i have been repressing all this while with logic and sensibility and what i deem as right. Acknowledging society's view on that which is right has made me blame myself for a number of things. While i maybe wrong for doing what it is i have been doing, this blame game thing really has affected my psyche to some extent...which is not a very good thing. Sometimes we just have to fight back and shout "I AM NOT WRONG!!!"
Sigh...the things i go through because of my grandma *snickers*
Getting into the act of a student...
It's not easy...putting in constant effort. Dragging my butt to the library is not easy at all. I just got here and am trying to settle down before putting in a good 2 hours of study. With 6 subjects hanging..i'm really wondering how am i going to be able to finish my course by June next sem.I really want to...but summer's not really working right now. If i do summer chances are that i'll graduate with a anything goes degree...which means i'm not too sure i'll even be able to do CA much less CPA. But yeah, gotta get my butt out of uni, like, SOON!!
First day of the new semester for me...so far so good. Am cutting down time spent in the lounge and have kept at the library bit for 2 days now. Only the rest of the sem to go!! Matheson...you'll see much more of me. =D
After failing so many subjects i was actually considering of just going home, forget about uni and get a job at some fancy french restaurant. Basically become a cook. I don't really know what's the job requirements of such a place but though i might just give it a shot. It does bring me to realising my dream of owning my own restaurant with much more ease. Downside was the wasted years of uni studying....and all the dissapointments i have gone through, both mine and my parents.
Looking for a job here has been on my mind. Parents aren't that keen on supporting me anymore...so if i really have to extend the course of my studies....i've gotta make some cash to make ends meet.
Well, it's time for Chiang Wey the entertainer/slacker/joker/flirter to take a backseat and call out Chiang Wey the student...
A little reminder from my mum...whom i have hurt very much...
To make our way,
we must have firm resolve,
persistence, tenacity.
We must gear ourselves
to work hard all the way.
We can never let up.
- Ralph Bunche
One of the perculiarities of life...
The thing with good looking people is that they are either highly in demand or they are not. Normally its the former because its a social norm that everyone wants to be associated with good looking people....its as if the good looks might rub off on them too or something.
My impression of good looking people....espeacially girls....is that they usually have crappy personalities......ok, not crappy but not the most interesting i have to say. This is provided that the fact that they are good looking has been pressed upon them by society long enough to create an impression in their young minds when they are children. They take for granted their ability to make friends therefore they don't really try to develope skills that are vital to, let say, picking up guys/girls if you are not of the good looking category.
This ends up with them being boring.
Because looks are all that's going for them, should people get tired of it, they turn into really plain janes and johns... Not much of a conversationist...can't tell jokes...not really entertaining. Sometimes, they can be really annoying because of the need for attention by everyone else.
NOT so good looking people on the other hand develop personalities to help them cope with life's constant expectations. No one wants to be an outcast...even outcasts have groupies...therefore these people become extremely interesting! Funny, witty, entertaining, sometimes charismatic, and so on so forth.
What about kids who were not exactly good looking when they were young, when the mind was open to shapping and moulding but turn into swans when they grow up? These are the silver linings in this murky and materialistic world. They become the champions of society. Figureheads as they possess both the qualities of
not-so-good-looking people and the elite features of the beautiful. Unfair?? Well....life's like that...
I't's not easy.....failing...
Exams...then love life....failure back to back... Maybe i just suck at the important things in life...and am kinda good at everything else... It's like (if there's a god) god just said hey...let's do a little experiment. I'll give this guy here good brains, some good motor functions, an athletic looking body, funnies and wit, ability to talk in front of anybody but throw in no charisma, laziness, no athletic abilities and no female attraction qualities...no matter how much a girl likes a funny, caring and conversational boyfriend....
Well, that about sums up my life. All my efforts...or whatever effort i can summon due to the laziness thingy lolz...usually end up in vain. Is it becoz i haven't tried enough? Or is it because i tried too hard... I think with studies i din try enough and with the ladies...i tried too hard?? I'm losing out to 17 year old boys for goodness sake... Kinda sucks really...and the guys a jerk...well...says the girl who is liking him now....
Or is it the bad boy thing. Or the good boy thing? I'm neither good boy nor bad boy....don't really think i'm in between either..maybe in a world of my own. Another universe...which no one can get to....therefore unable to read the signals i'm throwing...or can't decipher...or dun like it at all...
Can dance so what? Can sing so what? Can play guitar so what....?? Doesn't make u a better student/boyfriend material..
Well..here's ur answer GOD...its not funny. Try doing this to urself....seem like a capable person yet is deprived of all the qualities that would MAKE a person capable....
I guess i'm just ranting at the frustration of it all...wanting to blame it on something else besides myself. A little sideways blaming ain't so bad...takes the load off abit....makes u feel little better....than just trash at the results u get.
I'll write a song about it...if i can cock up the lyrics to it. Already making headway with the song for the unsuccessfull courtship story...lolz...onesided at that..
Clubbin's Just Like A Bag of Chips
I just realised this yesterday. Clubbin's just like eating a bag of chips. When you haven't had it for too long, you crave for it. So u go buy a huge bag of chips. The first few chips tastes good so u dig in, feeling happier as you eat your way through. Sharing it makes it more fun to eat too!!
Then as you make your way to the halfway mark, you start to feel like you don't really like to eat it anymore and want to put it down but something just makes you keep going at it. It's not that u really like the taste anymore or the satisfaction of biting into a crispy piece of thinly-sliced potato covered in all sorts of preservatives and flavorings that would most probably give u cancer and kill you - abit morbid don't you think? - it's like a reflex action; hand dipping in, pulling out a chip and popping it into ur mouth.
If you're sharing, you don't really feel nice about putting the bag away because you think other's might want to have another go at it so you leave it lying among everyone and try to not look at it but the reflex action kicks in making you regret your next move.
As you near the end of the bag, you feel like you're gonna be sick. You really don't want to think about chips anymore but you grab another anyway. Chips doesn't taste like chips anymore. Your head's spinning from the overdose of MSG. You drink loads of water to hopefully flush it out but all it does is give you a filled bladder and you have to make a beeline for the toilet.
After you finish the bag, you vow to not eat another piece of chip for at least the next 6 months. You wake up the next morning feeling sick and you don't think you can do anything productive for the rest of the day. But before a month has gone by, walk down to junkfood aisle in the supermarket and you think to yourself: "I feel like having a big bag of chips." And you do. And the whole vicious cycle starts again.
Yep! Clubbin's just like eating a bag of chips....
Sick of friendster...
Ok... I finally give up. Friendster really sucks...took me awhile to realise that..lolz...talk about slow at the taking. So here i am now....on blogspot.com...where everyone else is...
Been listening to the group m-flo. Love them like crazy...though not everyone feels the same. They don't make groups like them anymore. Its about the music...not the looks or advertising...the ability to manipulate music, arranging them in such unimaginable sequebces and still make it sound good. Love the way they do collaborations with other artists and creating works of art....literally.
I think it's sad that we now go after looks more than talent. In fact, looks are now considered a talent~~ Then again...whatever majority thinks IS the right way. It is they who conquer who sets the rules...so if you can't beat them, you gotta join them!! Or live miserably fighting everyone else...
Weather...just so hot...can't wait to get back and hit the mountains.... Drool~~ OOoOOoOoHHhhh Snowboarding!!!
Been around with my cuz...he's gonna open a pet shop soon. Went with him to the local zoo to...well...for him its prospecting...for me it was just an outing. I got to play with tigers and lions...and yeah...literally play with them ie. touch them and stuff. He knows the ppl there thats why...some of his inner circle friends....they trade animals...
I even got to hang out with a real life loan shark. Seems like he was the manager of his "company" that spans from JB to KL. So yeah..kinda cool.
Weather's so hot i can't even playball properly man...i died after fifteen minutes of one on one....uuurghhhhh so unfit...i need excercise!! Yet i'm not doing anything to get it....=P
Mission to finish more of my novel...ended in failure!!! Din have the stamina to keep going..though i'm gonna blame it on my mom who keeps bugging me to use the com. I do have my lappy but i'm not gonna bring that into the pic..... Yes..i AM a procastinating-excuse-loving-self-protecting-pig.
Nothing else to blog for now...or just can't find the inspiration to...haih~..
simming on the ground.....
